Dealing With Conflict

We had such a great meeting on Thursday night. Our guest speaker was Beth Fisher, mother of four teenagers and wife to Tim. Together they pastor Walkersville Community Church. She gave us some great insights on how to deal with conflict.
The biggest thing I took away was when she said, “Emotionally loaded words are very easy to get out and they are very strong”. Sometimes we need to apologize, even to our children when the conflict rises to a certain level and we make mistakes. Your children will learn humility and have an opportunity to practice forgiveness.

Some of the pointers Beth gave were to:
1. “Cool Off” when in the midst of a conflict. Take a step back.
2. Use “I” statements instead of “you…”
3. Restate what you have heard the other person say, “What I heard you say is that….”
4. Take responsibility- if you mess up apologize for it (but don’t justify your mistake).
5. Brainstorm solutions.
6. Affirm/Forgive/Reconcile.

Then Beth asked us to think about a few things:
 What filter do I have for the way I react?
 Who do I have regular conflict with?
 Have a mentor (and be a mentor).
 Know the things that trigger conflict with your child.

We appreciate Beth’s insight and wisdom that she shared with us.

Our next meeting will be December 8th, 2011 from 6-8 PM (remember no meeting on November 24th due to the holiday). Our guest speaker will be Annie Mahr and the topic will be “Developing a Sense of Respect”.

We have a fan page on Facebook to help us communicate in various ways. If you are on Facebook please “Like” VT MOPS to get updates. We will also be setting up events for our meetings so we are sure to have enough food and workers for your children.

Have a very Happy Thanksgiving!

VT MOPS Steering Team
Vicky, Lacy, Natalie & Tammy

What's a Mama to do??? Come to MOPS DUH!!!

I can’t believe it has almost been two weeks since our last MOPS Meeting. We talked about decision making and how the choices we have in life can sometimes be overwhelming. In our book, MomSense, Jean Blackmer suggests some practical ways to handle our choice overload by using specific steps in critical thinking to eliminate options that are not feasible and focusing on choices that make sense for one’s particular family and situation.

The steps of critical thinking are:
1. Be a skeptic (Think about who is telling you what, and why they might want you to agree with them or believe them)
2. Be informed (As smart questions. Also, have a few trusted resources and mentors to ask for advice).
3. Be an example to your kids (Developing critical thinking is a life skill to model and encourage in your children).

(See MomSense Chapter 3 for more details).

Now we are on to Thursday’s Meeting! We will be back at Victory Tabernacle (Thank you Morningstar Family Church for hosting our last meeting)!!!

I am so excited that Beth Fisher will be leading our discussion on Patience and dealing with conflict (MomSense chapter 4). Whose family doesn’t have conflict?? I believe Beth will bring great insight to us and she will probably also give us a few laughs along the way. Beth and her husband Tim are pastors of Walkersville Community Church and are parents to four teenagers (YIKES)!!! I hope you can join us for dinner at 6, our meeting begins just around 6:30 (but you don’t want to miss dinner… White Chicken Chilli!!! YUMMM). Don’t forget dinner and activities are provided for your children ages 0-10! That means all you have to do is make your hubby a sandwich or leave him money for pizza and show up at MOPS!!!

See you Thursday!

On Thursday evening we had our second official MOPS Meeting at Victory Tabernacle! We started the evening with a yummy meal made by Barbara Heinz- Chicken Noodle Casserole. To top it off we had “Bundt Cake Surprise” from April Poole. What was the surprise?? Only the one thing that could make a chocolate Bundt Cake even better… TWINKIES!!

Natalie opened the meeting by talking a bit about her own mothering journey, and shared a great piece talking about the Proverbs 31 woman. Click here to read what she shared about the virtuous woman.

Joining us for the meeting were mother daughter duos, Barb Heinz and Natalie Lowman, Dottie Miller and Lacy Reynolds (me). The panel answered questions about how they were raised and how that can affect their own parenting. Some parts of the discussion were difficult, as some of the women talked about how their homes were not perfect. The unifying theme from both generations was that their mothers did the best they could, and that they can say their mother loved them. What more could any of us want said of us?

As a mother it is so easy to let the way we were raised dictate how we will raise our children. Sometimes this is good, and other times it is not. We need to take the good, and the bad and learn how to sort through all of these factors and build a bridge between how we were mothered and how we choose to mother our own children. Learning from the past is essential in creating a successful future. Take some time to examine how you can bridge your childhood to your mothering… perhaps you will make some amazing discoveries.

On a lighter note, we took the concept of building bridges and divided the group into two teams. Each team was given a selection of Magnetics. They were then instructed to build a bridge. Rules to follow were:

1. Must use all pieces.
2. Must complete in 10 minutes.
3. Everyone must participate.
4. Whoever finishes first gets bonus points.

The team that won was certainly creative, both teams did a great job and we had lots of fun watching the ladies work together! Here are a few before and after pictures! Thanks to all the MOPS for being such good sports!

Join us for our MOPS Night out on Thursday, Oct. 20th. We will meet at 6 PM at the Applebees in Waynesboro, PA. This is a MOPS only event, no childcare will be provided. Please bring cash to pay for your meal. I hope to see you there!

Lacy